Some People Are Complaining That Burger King’s ‘Angriest Whopper’ Is Giving Them Fun-Filled Bouts Of Diarrhea :)
Late last month J. Camm asked us all to guess what color Burger King’s new “Angriest Whopper” would make our poops. I would elaborate, but he did such a fine job I think I’ll just copy and paste what he said. Why reinvent the wheel when you’ve already got a functioning car?
Well, the brain trust at the Flame-Broiled Burger magnate just barfed out a brand new concoction and it’s bound to take your bowel movements to the NEXT LEVEL. Not only is the bun a shade of fiery red, but it is infused with hot sauce. This way, your entire post-whopper trip to the toilet bowl will provide a violent reminder of what you just dared to put into your body. If this becomes a mainstay on the Burger King menu, their ad campaign going forward needs to be (NEEDS TO BE) The Angriest Whopper: Burning Assholes To The Ground Since Way Back.
At the time, J. Camm didn’t know whether or not the Angriest Whopper would actually set your butthole a-blazing; like any rational human being he just made the logical connection between fast food and exciting bowel movements, then threw a bunch of poop jokes around.
But guess what guys – there’s a reason J. Camm is in charge of all of us, and it’s not just because he’s good at telling Covucci that he can’t post bestiality videos or Hitler porn on the website – apparently he’s psychic. Yep, according to people on Twitter the Angriest Whopper is angry going in, down and out of your system, and by “angry” I mean “You may want to keep a box of baby wipes next to your toilet just in case”:
Not everyone is getting the full Angry Whopper experience though, as it appears some people not only aren’t getting hit with a massive case of the shits, but find that the bun isn’t as spicy as they were expecting. In fact, some are complaining that it’s not spicy at all. I hope you and I can agree on the simple fact that these people are morons, because anyone with half an iota of sense would just throw some Frank’s Red Hot on that bitch and call it a day.
But NOPE! No common sense to be found here, better head on over to Twitter to complain publicly about how I’ve been “swindled” by a fucking hamburger bun:
Tl;dr: You’re eating at Burger King. What did you expect?