Family Finds 17th Century Painting Worth An UNGODLY Amount Of Money Just Sitting In Their Attic
The luckiest family on planet Earth were crawling around in their attic while fixing a leak in their roof and stumbled onto a nearly priceless work of art, a 17th century painting from the Italian artist Caravaggio. I’m happier than a pig in shit when I find a $20 bill in my pocket but this family stumbled upon a painting worth so much goddamn money that nobody in their bloodline will ever have to work again.
The New York Post reports:
A family had a stroke of luck when they discovered a dusty old painting in their attic — it could be worth $136 million.
The 17th-century painting, which depicts a bloody biblical beheading, may be a long-lost masterpiece from one of history’s greatest painters, the Italian artist Caravaggio, experts told the media on Tuesday.
The unnamed family was fixing a leaky roof at their home near Toulouse, France, two years ago when they hit the possible art-world jackpot.
The brushstrokes in the painting’s blood — which pours down the neck of war general Holofernes — proves it’s the real deal, French art experts told cable news channel France 24.
“It was done with a single brushstroke,” said Eric Turquin, who consulted Italian art experts and specialists from the Louvre. “A copier or a less talented artist wouldn’t have done it like that.”
He added, “It has the light energy of a typical Caravaggio, without the mistakes.”
Holofernes’ fingernails also feature a rough quality, a sign that it was painted by a true master, Turquin explained.
One hundred and thirty six million dollars worth of art just sitting up in the fucking attic. This morning when I woke up I trucked my way into the bathroom and squeezed the ever living shit out of the toothpaste roll, because I wasn’t ready to open up a new roll of toothpaste until I was certain all of the previous roll had been used. This is where my mind is at in terms of savings and fiscal responsibility right now, and this goddamn family from France just found $136 million in their attic. What a world we live in…..