Chick Beats Her Boyfriend To A Bloody Pulp For Doing Something All Bros Do Every Day

I’d say one of the biggest differences between men and women, besides the penis and vagina thing, is perspective on porn. If men were hypothetically presented with the dilemma of never watching porn again or cutting off our strong thumb, 99% of us would be waxing our kielbasas with our weak hand. But chicks, chicks are at the other end of the spectrum. Besides the unicorns who watch porn semi-regularly, girls have zero interest in watching tattooed strangers fuck on camera. Bizarre, right? And maybe the most surprising of all is that if they have, it’s probably lesbian. Which to me is the number one reason I’ve given up on understanding women. I’ve surrendered to a life of strokin it to Lisa Ann and going stag to weddings. Not that mad about it.

Because evidently, this differing view on porn can not only ruin a relationship, but it can be downright dangerous.

According to the Smoking Gun, a 29-year-old Floridian woman named Delia Priem was arrested for battering her boyfriend after she secretly videotaped him watching porn after he promised her he’d stop (lol).

A Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office deputy reported that Priem “woke Anthony up with a slap to the face” around 2:40 AM and then “pushed him in his bed.” Priem then began throwing objects around the bedroom in an attempt to strike her boyfriend, who probably had a hard-on.

Priem was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge and two charges of not understanding that men need porn to survive. Ok, I charged her with that second one, but I think you bros can agree that it’s reasonable and should be written into the federal law.

What do you think, bros? Could you survive a relationship where your girl demanded you stopped watching porn? If you answer yes, you’re a better man than me.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.