The Social Justice Warriors Have Won, Bros. Chick-Fil-A Is Introducing A Gluten-Free Bun
To be perfectly honest, I’m team SJW (which, I think is a silly pejorative term to begin with, but that’s besides the point) on a great majority of things.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting everyone to be treated respectfully and fairly regardless of their race, gender, or abilities.
That said, I really can’t tolerate this generation’s sudden onset of mild discomfort at the concept of gluten.
I went to a bachelor party last weekend, and one of the dudes there had the gall to ask me to pick up gluten-free beer on my shopping run. Gluten-free beer. And some cider. A bro. Asking for cider. On a bachelor party.
It’s fucking absurd.
Whatever. Fuck it. I don’t even know why I’m trying to fight it. They’ve won. They’ve beyond won. Chick-fil-A is testing a gluten-free bun in locations in Idaho, Mississippi, and Washington.
Chick-fil-A. On a gluten-free bun.
It comes individually wrapped in a sealed plastic bag, to ensure that not a single molecule of gluten comes into contact with your bun.
So much fucking wanking motion.
Thankfully, Chick-fil-A still fries everything in peanut oil, so they haven’t totally caved to the complete and utter wussification of America.
Vote Trump. Buy a gun.
(Full disclosure: I’m actually considering cutting out gluten as well, just as a test, just to see how I feel.)
Please use that gun to shoot me.
[Via Brand Eating]