The Social Justice Warriors Have Won, Bros. Chick-Fil-A Is Introducing A Gluten-Free Bun

by 3 years ago


To be perfectly honest, I’m team SJW (which, I think is a silly pejorative term to begin with, but that’s besides the point) on a great majority of things.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting everyone to be treated respectfully and fairly regardless of their race, gender, or abilities.

That said, I really can’t tolerate this generation’s sudden onset of mild discomfort at the concept of gluten.

I went to a bachelor party last weekend, and one of the dudes there had the gall to ask me to pick up gluten-free beer on my shopping run. Gluten-free beer. And some cider. A bro. Asking for cider. On a bachelor party.

It’s fucking absurd.

Whatever. Fuck it. I don’t even know why I’m trying to fight it. They’ve won. They’ve beyond won. Chick-fil-A is testing a gluten-free bun in locations in Idaho, Mississippi, and Washington.

Chick-fil-A. On a gluten-free bun.

It comes individually wrapped in a sealed plastic bag, to ensure that not a single molecule of gluten comes into contact with your bun.

So much fucking wanking motion.

Thankfully, Chick-fil-A still fries everything in peanut oil, so they haven’t totally caved to the complete and utter wussification of America.

Vote Trump. Buy a gun.

(Full disclosure: I’m actually considering cutting out gluten as well, just as a test, just to see how I feel.)

Please use that gun to shoot me.

[Via Brand Eating]

TAGSceliacs diseaseChick-fil-aGluten intolerance