Stephen Colbert Teaches Hillary Clinton How To Eat In Front Of The Press

For some reason during this presidential race, there has been a lot of time spent talking about how the presidential candidates eat. Does this maybe hint at a larger conspiracy that the mainstream media is secretly run by a cabal of sitophiles? Maybe. It would probably explain why we’ve spent so much time dissecting how the candidates eat their pizza, steak and M&M’s. But you know who has thus far successfully avoided the eating limelight? Big Hill. Or, she did, until Colbert invited her to lunch at the Carnegie Deli in New York.

I kind of appreciate why Hillary doesn’t eat in front of the press. No one wants to be campaigning to the citizens of the nation while the press is simultaneously running photos of them stuffing so many meatballs in their face they look like the kids from Ed, Ed and Eddy eating jawbreakers. But at the same time, just because you get crumbs on your chin doesn’t mean people aren’t going to vote for you. Has Hillary never had an embarrassing photo taken of her? What’d she do in college, wear a black veil over her face when she was doing keg stands so all the kids with polaroid cameras couldn’t snap a pic of her face? Maybe all of those Benghazi emails she deleted were actually just JPG’s of her having a few too many White Chocolate martinis at a Christmas party.

Also, I’m impressed that Colbert brought up Bill being a vegan without making the obvious joke about Monica Lewinsky not being a vegan. That was a really low hanging fruit that I can say with confidence I would have grabbed without a moment’s hesitation.