If you bought condoms from Groupon, number one, that’s just weird, and number two, CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING A DADDY! Apparently some faulty condoms were sold on the daily-deals site.
Groupon in Australia has come forth to confess that they accidentally sold fake Durex condoms to its customers.
Okay, that’s understandable. Mistakes happen.
And that the faux condoms may have been full of holes.
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
The leaky jimmy hats were sold between March 12 and April 10 this year. Aww snow babies! I can’t wait for all the cute newborns in December!
A spokesperson for Groupon Australia gave an interview to Mashable Australia:
“Customers are our utmost priority at Groupon and we take their health and safety very seriously. All customers who purchased the counterfeit products have been proactively contacted by Groupon notifying them of the recall and have been advised to discontinue use immediately, dispose or return the goods, and seek professional medical advice if they have concerns about their health.”
That’s all well and good, but a fancy corporate P.R. statement don’t remedy my burning piss hole from the chlamydia.
The Australian Department of Health also issued a warning to healthcare professionals, advising them to be aware of the issue and to advise patients accordingly.
The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) is the country’s “competition regulator and national consumer law champion. We promote competition and fair trading and regulate national infrastructure to make markets work for everyone.” The watchdog group said the knockoff condoms “may not prevent pregnancy or protect users from sexually transmitted diseases.”
Like how much does a person actually save by purchasing prophylactics off of Groupon? And how does one go about finding condoms on Groupon? Do you go looking for a $40 of food for only $20 at your favorite pizza joint and see condoms and say, “Hey, I need rubbers. While I’m here I might as well get this 300-pack of Durex because I’m a stud.”
For those thrifty individuals who bought the tainted condoms, I hope that Groupon has a daily deal for either visits to the STD clinic or a prenatal doctor.