DJ Goes Absolutely INSANE While Dropping Piss Poor Beats And The 18 People In The Crowd Are Like ‘WTF?’

I laughed so hard at this. Like way harder than I should have. Everything about it: the MC Hammer pants, the impossibly shitty ‘banging on a trash can’ beat, the empty dance floor, the ‘stage’ held up by ‘No Parking’ crates, the tarp ceiling, and oh ya, the DJ raging his fucking face off to loud noises. I hesitate to call it music because I’ve made more beautiful sounds on the toilet after a Chipotle burrito bowl.

But how much can you really hate on a dude who believes in his heart that he’s dropping fire tracks? Ya sure, he may be a tad bit delusional and he may even think that the reason the dance floor’s empty is because someone dropped a shit in the center and not because the crowd would rather listen to their parents having sex than his dogshit beats. But If I went through life with a quarter of the confidence this dude has, I sure as fuck wouldn’t nearly have a panic attack before approaching a girl at a bar. And I guess that makes this lunatic a better man than me.

P.S. You guys remember Newton’s Third Law from high school? Every action has an equal and opposite reaction? Ya, it’s bullshit.





P.P.S. The mic kick, doe.

^Guy’s a fucking professional.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.