If I was ever at a bar with a dude and he said, “Ugh, I love whiskey but I just can’t take the calories,” I would get up out of my stool, walk to the nearest hardware store, pick up some super glue and some lighter fluid, go back to the bar, glue that idiot’s ass to his stool, drench the floor around it in lighter fluid and flick a cig at his feet.
He could get out, for sure, but he’d have to ditch his pants and walk back home in his undies, which I think is fair punishment for being a bitch. Also, hopefully the fear of death I put into him will bring him to reevaluate his life choices. Maybe sack up and drink regular whiskey like you’re supposed to.
Or he can go hang out with the other losers and sip this new product from Sinfully THINN.
It’s called THINN Light Whiskey and it sounds as trash as you’d expect.
THINN Light Whiskey is vacuum distilled in small batches resulting in a low temperature distilled process highlighting the sweetness and smooth wheat finish. From the clean and narrow design of the bottle to the fine and narrow “hearts” cut, empowers THINN to hold to the highest of standards. It is the most desirable and first Light Whiskey to Market.
Each batch being carefully developed, perfectly blended, strategically distilled, lightly aged, and conditioned results in: a light, smooth wheat flavor whiskey with mixable ability and character.
Yea fuck that shit. You can drink it. But know you are a bitch.
I mean, would you want to drink whiskey with that dude up there?