Let’s Get Drunk And Climb A Huge Tree And OMG I’M FALLING IN SLOW-MOTION


Yep…this is exactly the kind of stuff you’d expect to happen when you get hammered and climb an enormous fucking tree. His friend might’ve been on to something, albeit way too late, as he’s yelling, “Don’t do it, man! Don’t do it!”

Now I’m not saying the insane fall here was totally this guy’s fault, because that tree limb clearly snapped…but maybe it was a little bit of his fault for being drunk enough to climb that high up and for being a little remiss not to consider that branch wouldn’t bear his weight.

Luckily, the 20-year-old man above that ended up in the Washougal River far from the way he intended is making a healthy recovery right now.

KOIN 6 reports:

A 20-year-old man made an astounding recovery after falling nearly 60 feet from a tree and into the Washougal River earlier this month. Now, he’s urging people to take extra caution while adventuring in the outdoors this summer. Kyle Ponciano said it was just a normal day when he and a group of friends made their second trek up to Naked Falls on June 6. A little alcohol and some daring jumps quickly turned into a deadly combination. Around 4:30 p.m., the branches Ponciano was holding and standing on snapped. He said it was the last thing he remembered. “I remember dozing off and my friends yelling in my face, ‘Kyle, wake up!’” Ponciano said. “It was wild.”

Two hours later, the 20-year-old was in surgery. He had to be placed in a medically-induced coma after suffering a torn abdomen, stitches to his lower abdomen, a partially collapsed and bruised lung, a shattered right elbow and broken pelvis.

Several surgeries later, Ponciano is in good spirits. He was sent home from the hospital earlier this week.

As he continues his road to recovery, he said he has a message for others. “I want people to know they’re not invincible,” Ponciano said. “I definitely didn’t think that anything like this could ever happen to me.”

Hindsight is 20/20, my man! Here’s to a speedy recovery.

[h/t Barstool Sports]