Drunk Bro Gives Greatest Reason Ever For Pooping In The Middle Of A Tunnel And Causing Major Traffic Jam

There are just some opportunities a person must seize. A drunk bro in New Zealand seized the opportunity to defecate in the middle of a tunnel.

A highway tunnel in Wellington, New Zealand, was closed on Monday after a drunk man jumped construction barriers and pooped in the middle of it. It delayed the opening of the highway an additional 45 minutes, as a clean-up crew had to be called in to take care of the mess.

My god, what a clean place New Zealand must be to STOP TRAFFIC to clean up one pile of shit in the road. Imagine trying that in a city like New York? “Road department, this is Johnson. There’s shit in the middle of the road? Did they hit the guy who did it? No? Damn it! Yeah, we’ll be there never. It’s shit on your tires, get the fuck over it.”

The man wasn’t charged for dumping in the middle of the road, probably because he gave this epic response to cops when asked “why did you crap in the road?”

“How many times do you get a chance to fucking shit in the tunnel?” he explained.

Amen brother. Amen.

[via Death and Taxes]

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.