Air travel can be a nightmare, getting to the airport 2-3 hours before your flight, being groped by TSA agents, having the guy in the next seat piss all over you. Wait. What?
Jeff D. Rubin slept was passed out through most of the three-hour JetBlue flight from Anchorage, Alaska to Portland, Oregon. Then 30-minutes before landing, Jeff had to make tinkles. So “he stood up and began urinating through the crack of the seat onto the passengers seated in front of him.” Walking all the way to the bathroom? Ain’t nobody got time for dat.
“At some point Jeff Rubin lost his balance causing him to fall backwards and urinate upwards which got on the passengers and seats next to him as well as some other passenger’s personal belongings,” police said. This leaky gentleman can lose his balance all he wants, but here’s a question for good ole Jeff, “Why did you have your dick out on while in your seat on a commercial airline flight?”
Apparently Jeff was a sleepy boy, and he went right back to sleep after his messy watersports activity. When police boarded Flight 47 in Portland, Rubin was slumped in his seat and sleeping. Rubin faces two misdemeanor charges of criminal mischief and the adorable sounding charges of “offensive littering.” Offensive littering sounds like you dropped a napkin that had “Fuck” written on it. Seems as though whipping your dick out on a plane and spraying your fellow passengers with your waste fluids should be classified as something a little more severe than “offensive littering.”
Offensive littering and… offensive littering and… offensive littering and pissing on people.
The 27-year-old man was released on his own recognizance.