Three Drunk, Naked Bros Break Into Burger Spot, Steal Some Patties

A Bonita Beach burger bar was burglarized by some big, buzzed, in-the-buff bros. (Now that is how you alliterate.)

At 3:06 a.m. this Sunday morning, after what can only be assumed was a heavy Saturday night, three males broke into Doc’s Beach House in Florida and lifted 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon and three red peppers.

They (wisely) ditched the red peppers after departing the restaurant, but the meat has yet to be recovered and the men remain unidentified, despite being caught by security cameras.

In photos released by Southwest Florida Crime Stoppers and Bonita Jet Ski and Parasail, which partners with Doc’s, the men appear athletic. Two are naked while the other is wearing white underwear. Several photos show the men looking at a security camera. At one point, one of them tries turning the camera unaware there is another camera nearby.

Two of the men appear to cover their faces and genitals after seeing the first security camera. Doc’s general manager/vice president Lou Bangert jokingly said her two female waitresses want the naked bandits to return.

But, I think I know who one of the perpetrators is. Check out this screencap.

Look familiar? He should. He came here tens of millions of years ago to populate the Earth with life. That’s right. It’s one of the engineers from Prometheus.

Anyone with tips should contact either SETI or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-780-8477.

[H/T Gawker, Screenshots via News Press]