Kids are annoying. No one’s denying that. Adults can be annoying, too. Most annoying adults are just annoying kids who never grew out of it. It’s like natural selection. The adults who grow up and get laid pretty often are the ones who stop being annoying while everyone else can’t procreate, thus furthering cleansing the world of more potentially annoying adults. It’s basically science. Everyone knows it’s true.
Well, except this one bananas-crazy drunk chick who got annoyed when a 7 year-old kid splashed water at her a resort pool and poured vodka directly into his eyes.
Via Smoking Gun:
“As detailed in arrest affidavits, Roseanna Marie Kiser, a 33-year-old North Carolina resident, was at the Sheraton Sand Key Resort in Clearwater Monday evening when she tangled with the underage victim. Kiser, police allege, was intoxicated and “drinking from a vodka bottle” while several young children “were also swimming and playing” in the pool…Kiser reportedly became angry at the seven-year-old boy “because he was splashing water near her.” So, cops charge, she “opened her bottle of vodka and poured some of its liquid contents directly into the eyes and face” of the child. Kiser then allegedly grabbed the boy by the chest and pushed him “further away from her into the water in the pool.”
Responding to a 911 call, Clearwater Police Department officers confronted Kiser in her hotel room. After being told multiple times that she was being ejected from the premises by hotel management, Kiser fought with cops, elbowing and kicking officers in the head, neck, and chest,” according to a felony complaint accusing her of resisting an officer with violence. During the struggle with Kiser, one patrolman was repeatedly kicked in the groin by the suspect. As a result, she was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer, a felony. Kiser is also facing a felony child abuse charge. Kiser was freed from jail yesterday morning after posting a $12,750 bond.
Court records do not indicate if the boy sustained injuries as a result of the vodka bath.”
Some people just want to watch the eyes of children burn. I’m assuming that the bottle she opened was not her first, because you have to be a mentally unstable person to do something like this without a few layers of liquid anger inside of you. Even with all that booze lining your stomach, it’s still a pretty horrible thing to do. The kid didn’t even splash you directly, he splashed near you. Have you ever dealt with a kid before? Just yell at them. Kids hate being yelled at. They’re like squirrells. If you make enough noise, they just run away. Sure, chlorine hurts when you get it in your eyes, but not as much as liquor does. That’d be like if someone ran over your toe with bicycle so you run over their mother with a Humvee. They’re technically thematically similar, but miles away from being comparable.
I’m surprised the police didn’t walk into this one with their nightsticks out and riot shields up. This woman was clearly insane. However, I kind of see where she was coming from in terms of attacking the police. She’s already going down, may as well burst a few testicles while she’s at it. That’s the only logical things to do when you find yourself backed against the wall. Start grabbing some testis and see if you can pull your way out. Anyway, I’d love to be a fly on the wall of whatever court mandated psychiatric appointment this woman obviously is going to end up at. There has to be some deep-seeded issues from this woman’s past that she’ll have to dredge up in order to explain her issues with children.