What would you do if you found out your best friend is now dating your ex-fiance? For most of us, me included, it’s not out of the realm of realistic possibilities that I buy a ring, get down on one knee, commit my life to someone, post about it on Facebook, and then have to say ‘JK huge mistake’ or her say ‘JK, you’re a 28-year-old stoner child with no discernible talents.’
REGARDLESS OF THE REASON, having to deal with the backlash of a failed marriage before it even starts must be excruciating. It’s almost like going to see your horse race at the Kentucky Derby and the thing having a seizure right out the gates. Gotta put a bullet between its eyes right then and there in front of family and friends. Yikes.
Now imagine that on top of that debilitating embarrassment, you have to deal with your best friend fucking the woman you were going to spend the rest of your life with. You lose two of the people closest to you in one devastating blow that can naturally only be patched up through an act of revenge.
What would you do to make your best friend really feel it? You could go the conventional route and beat the shit out of him or try to bang his mom, but that’s child play. There can be no true despair without hope.
You must make him feel like Bruce Wayne looking up at the clear blue sky, weakened and sickly in the Bane’s prison pit. You must torment him with possibility, hope. It is then and only then will you have the power to give him permission to die.
Take notes from Imgur user waltk89, a man who lost everything, and now just wants to watch the world burn. I’ll let him take it from here.
You’ve got better luck unlocking a chastity belt with a wet strain of spaghetti than you do opening the contents of that package bruh.
But I guess you won’t be playing video games much now that you’re always balls deep in your friend’s girl.