Dude Rips Huge Fart In Court And The Judge Makes A Massive Stink About It

ODOR IN THE COURT! Get it?! Shut the fuck up, Matt. Go home.

This was obviously an act of defiance by inmate 1183. There are a couple indicators that led me to this conclusion.

1.) The chair.

I once farted in a church pew in Massachusetts and my friend from Rhode Island texted me and was like “was that you?” It’s impossible to squeeze a silent one into a wooden bench. A wooden seat is a like a megaphone for your anus, just can’t keep it’s fucking mouth shut. I think that was the last time I went to church, which is reason 3,823,156 I’m going to burn in the hottest part of hell. But in this dude’s case, it looks like he’s in your standard, padded swivel chair or as I like to call it a ‘fart catcher.’ All it takes is a little patience and a touch of anus control and you can easily pawn it off on inmate 2392.

2.) He’s a convicted felon and he was 100% just being a dick.

Think of all the dudes who would blow the butt bugle in your classes growing up. They were always the ones with zero discipline who would draw cocks on the whiteboard when the teacher stepped out. You loved having them in your class because their mere presence would deflect all negative attention off you. This guy was for sure that guy. It was cool back then because it’s high school and it’s innocent, but it kind of loses its cool when he’s shackled at the hands in an orange jumpsuit.

P.S. This judge needs a Xanax or something to help him chill the fuck out. No doubt he’s sending this dude to the electric chair for petty theft.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.