— Cody Pace (@cody_pace) August 9, 2015
This may be the most painful way to find out you have no friends. This Crusader has been fighting his ballsack off trying to restore religious freedom, the very least he could ask for is a cold glass of mead and a few peasants to break his fall after he launches himself off a villagers roof. Just another example of how shitty we treat our vets upon returning home.
The greatest part of this debaucle, besides seeing someone die, was that the dude jumped off the roof right as the beat dropped. That act of fine-tuned showmanship alone is grounds for keeping this dude’s spine intact. But the fluorescent tank top dude in the below picture is either the biggest pussy alive or the Crusader fucked his lady as he passed through their village on the way to the Holy Land. I’ll accept no other theories. There simply has to be a logical motive to explain that behavior.
And when this dude returns to his homeland and he’s holding what’s left of his vertebrae in his hand and his dad asks him if there was anyone around to catch him, how does he respond? Dude, they are literally treating inflatable turtles with more respect than you.
I’m all about the turn up, bro. I would have gladly stepped in and taken it on the chin. But it looks like I was the only person in America who wasn’t invited to this rager. My phone’s been acting up so I must have not gotten the invite text. Fucking Boost Mobile.