This Woman Claims An Elevator Completely Ruined Her Sex Life And Now She’s SUING The Apartment Complex

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Marie D’Argent, a Melbourne publicist who lives in the St. Kilda Rd high-rise in Australia, claims she was injured when the elevator she was riding plummeted three floors out of nowhere. So what do we do when we get hurt and it’s not our fault, kids?

We sue everyone! Yayyyyy litigations and lawyers and courtrooms and judges and gavels! Whoo!

In a statement recently filed in the County Court, D’Argent says she suffered “vertebral disc trauma, whiplash and nightmares from the October 9 incident.” Nightmares, you say? If I knew you could sue people over the claim that they gave you a nightmare I would’ve litigated the shit outta Ronald McDonald when I was 6, and I’m probably not alone. Do I love cheeseburgers? Obviously, but that clown is a little 2spooky4me.

But you know what’s even worse than having the occasional nightmare? Losing any appetite for sex that you may or may not have once had.

But she also claims the fall left her with a “loss of libido”, “sexual discomfort and impairment” and “curtailment of ¬sexual adventurism”.

She told the Herald Sun her spinal injuries had not only had an impact on her professional and family life, but also her personal life.

“It’s a matter of losing your mojo,” Ms D’Argent said yesterday. “Everybody would know your back plays a big part in your sexual life.”

She said it was an important aspect of her life for which she hoped to be compensated. (Via)

Look, the vertebral disc trauma and whiplash sound legit, but this? Not so much. Even the nightmares are kind of bullshit-sounding unless she’s got PTSD or something, but if nightmares are lawsuit-worthy then wouldn’t the creators behind horror movies be swimming in subpoenas? I’m not a lawyer (obviously), but to me this just sounds like another lawsuit where someone’s trying to make fast cash.

But like I said, I’m not a lawyer.

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[Via Herald Sun, header image via Shutterstock]