Emily Ratajkowski Blasts New York Times Journalist For Telling Her Melania Trump Is A ‘Hooker’

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A journalist for one of the most respected publications in the world has allegedly gone full mouth-breather, if only for a moment. Ratajkowski, an avid Bernie Sanders supporter, took to Twitter to skewer an unnamed New York Times reporter she sat next to at an event for making some off the wall claims about The First Lady.

CLASSIC locker room talk!

While this claim seems uncharacteristic for a journalist who is presumed to have high integrity, this is just more evidence that hot girls make dudes say stupid shit. Even intellectual dweebs like New York Times reporters. *ESPECIALLY intellectual dweebs like New York Times reporters.

This is how I imagine the reporter’s internal monologue to have gone down:

“Oh golly, there’s a young lady I’d love to converse with. I need a drink for some liquid courage.”

*Takes one sip of O’Douls*

“Shiiiiit, ThatT’sS BeTttTERRr.”

*Adjusts non-prescription tortoise shell glasses*

“Should my opener be about climate change or the health care? Hmm, she’s a millennial, so let’s go with something a little more surface-level, a bit more provocative.”

*Approaches Emily while peeing a little.*

“Melania’s a fucking hooker. You tryna get out of here?”

Nailed it, bro.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.