Last week Instagram models Emily Sears and Laura Lux put a bunch of creepy dudes on blast for randomly DMing them crotch shots on Instagram. The duo went viral after they started notifying the girlfriends of the men who sent them unsolicited pics of their junk.
The saga is a much-needed reminder on human decency — Have some self-respect and don’t send someone a pic of your dick unless they ask for it, Bros.
I talked to Emily and Laura about the aftermath of their DM tactics going viral. Here’s their dos and don’ts of sliding into a girl’s DMs.
What have your inboxes been like since the story broke last week about informing girlfriends that their man is sending models dick pics?
Emily: It’s been wonderful, I have had thousands of positive messages showing support. I’m so thankful for everyone being so wonderful. There’s been one or two idiots but that’s nothing compared to the overwhelming majority of positive feedback.
Laura: It’s been about 80% positive feedback from men and women alike saying thank you for standing up to this, and about 20% hate mail from angry dudes asking “what do you expect” and/or telling us we’re “asking for it” because we post scantily clad pictures on social media.
What are some of the reactions the girlfriends have after you tell them about their boyfriend’s creepy online behavior to strangers?
Emily: Most of it has been really positive, they’ve been a little embarrassed at most but I think it’s important to note that every woman has her right to make her own decisions, we aren’t sharing this information with any conditions on these women to act as we might want them to. All we are doing is holding men accountable for behavior online that they would face criminal charges with in person.
Laura: It’s been really mixed. Some girls are grateful for the information, others I guess aren’t ready to deal with it and freak out on us and accuse us of being sluts. We always try to be as gentle as possible with the people we contact because it can be pretty heavy information to find out someone you loved and trusted is doing this.
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Think it’s ruined any relationships?
Emily: Our messages don’t ruin any relationships, the men themselves ruin their relationships with their actions.
Laura: I don’t think WE ruined anything. The guys are ruining it themselves the second they sent that message to someone who a) wasn’t their partner and b) didn’t ask to see it.
Why do you think so many creepy guys feel entitled to blast girls on Instagram dick pics out of the blue?
Emily: It isn’t just happening to women on Instagram, it’s happening to any women with an online dating profile or any kind of social media account. Creepy men feel entitled to women for a number of reasons and we want to hold them accountable for that and shed light to why that is the wrong way to think and behave.
Laura: Some guys I think really get off on disrespecting women and making us feel uncomfortable, and it’s important to note this isn’t just an issue faced by women who pose in underwear and have large social media followings, it’s something that happens to all kinds of women all over the world. The mentality behind it is no different to a guy who flashes a girl at a bus stop; he knows she will feel degraded and disrespected by it, but he likes that. Other times I think the guys are just fucking idiots who genuinely think we will like it/be aroused or impressed by it/want to have sex with them after seeing it (I’ll give you the hot tip – we never will).
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What is the most obnoxious way dudes try to slide into your DMs BESIDES dick pics?
Emily: I have no problem with people saying hi, sometimes it’s odd when someone says they’ve seen me at Taco Bell or something, you sort of feel weird someone was watching you and didn’t say hi, but then will message you about it.
Laura: This past week I’ve actually probably received ten times as many pictures of roosters and celebrities named Dick from guys who think they’re being clever and funny than I have actual penis pictures haha so that’s getting a bit tired. But seriously, the worst thing aside from dick pics is guys who message to say, “Can I ask you a question?” because nineteen times out of twenty that question turns out to be something fucking stupid (e.g., My girlfriend says my dick is too big for her, it’s 9 inches, do you think that’s too big? What size bra do you wear?)
I assume you guys are getting blown up all the time by random people on Insta. How do you decide who to respond to?
Emily: My favorite messages are when people send me pictures of bears, because everyone knows they’re my favorite animals! Honesty pictures of bears are always welcome in my inbox!
Laura: Lately I’ve been making a huge effort to try to respond to everyone who’s reached out to support what we’re doing, but usually I just respond to the people who grab my attention either by saying something really nice and making me feel warm & fuzzy, or who send something really funny. I like funny DMs, people who have the same sense of humor as me are my favorite kind of people.
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What are a couple of things every guy needs to know before sending a DM to a stranger?
Emily: There’s not a couple of things, there’s truly only one thing and that is that it’s wrong. The ONLY time to send a dick pic is when a consenting adult female specifically says “please send me a dick pic”
Laura: 1. Don’t send a picture of your dick.
2. Seriously, bro, don’t send a picture of your dick.
3. Be polite and chill and funny, and don’t assume or expect anything romantic/sexual is going to come from it.
4. Friendly conversation will always be received better than a shirtless selfie accompanied by “Sup sexy”
5. DON’T SEND A PICTURE OF YOUR DICK.
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