Remember that little bitch rat that was found in New York’s subway system that couldn’t even drag a thin slice of pizza down the steps? It was pathetic. Weak ass rat. Never downed a protein shake in its entire life. God that rat was such a fucking Beta rat. And everyone in America was all up in arms, creating Halloween costumes in its memory and shit.
Ya know what Germany was doing while we were all having a pizza rat circle jerk? Laughing at us. Laughing at AMERICA. Why? BECAUSE HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS BEAST.
This is the Yao Ming of rats. That tail alone is twice the size of Lexington Steele’s rod. If I exercised, I could jump rope with that thing. It’s feet are bigger than Kevin Hart’s. Probably at least a 36×32 pant.
America’s fucking slippin’ man.
[h/t UNILAD]