Ever Worked Retail? This Story About A Guy’s Revenge On A Customer Whose Baby Pooped All Over The Store Is A+
I’ve personally never had a retail job, but I have worked in restaurants so I know what kind of bullshit you get stuck putting up with when overly entitled customers waltz in and think they’re hot shit. While I’ve never had a child literally shit on the floor and the mother assume it’s “my job” to clean it up (hint: it’s not my fucking job), I can’t imagine my reaction could’ve been any more epic than Redditor 4AM_Mooney_SoHo’s:
So this story is from quite a while ago, in one of those endangered White Rhinos of the retail world, a chain video store.
My chain store had a lot of management turnover, as well as “franchise turnover” (meaning we were passed between a couple of franchise groups before landing somewhere in limbo). This, along with the fact that all of the employees knew the management login and password meant that we had more power than we should have, and little to no threat of firing or legal repercussions (I remember a kid lifting and selling a bunch of new releases of LOTR1 before the official release date).
Now, being a “family place” (the 2nd biggest national chain), and being the store with the biggest selection in an area of upper-middle-class suburbs/towns, we had a LOT of issues with entitled mombies and kids, but this was one of my favorites.
There were 2 of us manning the counter, so I stepped out and started asking customers if they needed help finding anything. There was a mother with 4 kids, the youngest being a toddler in diapers, wandering around the video game section. I asked if they needed help, and was given something of a harrumph/sigh in response. Lacking a translation for “frumpy groan,” I simply said I was around and if they needed help just holler. I noticed the toddler was tugging on his diapers and doing a duck walk, but being 20 and not experienced with kids, I wasn’t aware just what that signified.
Note that she never asked to use the restroom, or indicated that there was an issue.
I did the rest of my rounds and returned to the video game aisle, where I noticed what looked like a trail of chocolate covered raisins leading to the toddler. Thinking the little shit had helped himself to our treats (which were stupidly in reach of grubbey little shits), I looked for the box, only to see another round one drop from the groin-goblin’s leg. I was a bit shocked with that, but then he started pulling at his diaper, dropping more and more while Mom is ignoring his whimpers and waiting in line.
I walk up behind her, poke her shoulder and ask if she would like some rags, a bag, and cleaner to take care of her little shit monster, and she replies that it isn’t her job, and isn’t that what we are getting paid for?
Now, she is 3 spots back in the line, so I tell her that I can help her out on my register. I scan her card, and promptly note on her account that her kid had shit allover the floor, and that their account was permanently disabled.
I told her that the system wasn’t taking that card, and asked if there was another account for their family (there was one for their teen, and one for the husband.) I got the phone number and looked up the other accounts, repeating the same note to all of them, and using the manager code to mark all of their (quite substantial) late fees as “to be sent to collections.”
I then smiled, and cut the card up in front of her, and told her that since she can’t respect the store or the employees, and since she is unable to control her children, and refused to clean up after them, that she her accounts were locked and that she was banned.
She tried to use the other accounts, but I told her they were irreparably locked too, and that her household was flagged so they couldn’t get any new cards. She flew off the handle, screaming and shouting, yelling that cleaning the floors there wasn’t her job (it is when your panty-stain decides to shit all over it), and that she would call the manager, owner or corporate and report me. I told her to go ahead, nothing would happen to us.
She grabbed her kid (still dropping nuggets) and screamed for the rest of her brood, loading them into the van and peeling out of the parking lot with her middle finger raised.
She called back that night asking for a manager, and I had a real fun time pretending to be Chuck, the territorial manager (not a real person). I told her she and her family were banned from any stores in the district, and that we would be pressing charges if her or any of her family tried to open up a new account.
I ended up having to clean up the shit, which sucked, so I called up the other video store in the town and let them know what had happened (or that they were habitual shop lifters, I can’t remember) but they ended up banned from there.
They tried coming in and renting a few times, even trying to set up new accounts, but each time they were flagged, both because the incident and their late fees (which I guess they couldn’t pay off now that the account was locked, and they were sent to collections for them, but I have no sympathy).
They ended up getting sent to collections and having a LOT of issues due to that, and tried to call and write the store to make impotent legal threats, but I had made sure to put notes up on the desk and the system.
They came into another job I was working a year or two later and started yelling at me, asking why I ruined their lives. I told them the truth, it was because their actions in the video store were reprehensible, and that we didn’t need customers like that. I also said that if they returned their videos on time they wouldn’t have had fees, and then they wouldn’t have gone to collections. I suggested that they perhaps learn from this experience, and readdress how they treat retail employees. This just further enraged them (the husband was in my face). They were asked to leave, and “banned” from there as well.
Tl;dr: always wipe after taking a poop.