Never shit where you eat. I learned that early in life. If you have to shit and it’s an emergency, you go literally anywhere besides where you set your food down. Shit on the floor. Shit in the fireplace. Shit in your hands and throw it at the walls. Just do not shit near your kitchen table. That’s for food undigested food only.
This is a lesson I’m assuming that former Citadel pitcher turned drug kingpin Bradley Lewis Felder never heard. He must have been sick that day in school. It was probably the same day his teachers told him “Don’t sell drugs”.
Via New York Daily News:
“Agents reportedly seized almost $2 million in cash and property from Bradley Lewis Felder — including a bag stuffed with $1.76 million in cash buried on his family’s farm in Bowman, S.C. — as the former college athlete and a friend pleaded guilty this Wednesday to federal drug charges.
South Carolina’s newspaper The State reported that U.S. District Judge Terry L. Wooten accepted guilty pleas from Felder, 27, and Everette “Rhett” Carter Berry, 28, on charges that include conspiracy to possess and intent to distribute the drug commonly known as “molly” plus at least 50 kilos of marijuana.
Before Felder sold grass and buried money in the dirt, he played on baseball fields made from both. He is listed as an outfielder for Clemson for the 2012 season and a player at the Citadel during the 2008, 2010 and 2011 seasons.”
I guess this guy’s never seen American Gangster or literally any other crime movie. They always dig up the family farm. Literally always. If it was my first day as a police officer and this case was dumped on my desk, the first thing I would do is dig up his parents farm and yards. I wouldn’t even ask permission. I would just do it because I know I’m right. This is why you never shit where you eat. If he had buried his money like say, at his girl’s house, his parents may have never found out. They probably would have, but this guaranteed that they did. Guy took a steaming dump in the same backyard where his dad throws barbeques. Rookie move, pal. Watch more movies if you’re going to commit a high profile crime.