I don’t even need to tell you bros the ONE PLACE nobody should ever try in break in to because it’s painfully obvious: jail/prison. One Florida Man didn’t get that memo, and after getting all jacked up on Flakka (a synthetic version of Meth) he decided that he really missed his bros and wanted to go visit them. The problem was that his bros were locked up, and therefore he proceeded to try and break into jail while cranked up on Flakka.
This is truly one of those ‘only in Florida’ stories that simply could not happen anywhere else in the world.
INDIAN RIVER COUNTY, Fla. —A Vero Beach man allegedly high on flakka is accused of ramming his car into the Indian River County Jail and scaling a fence in an attempt to break-in and visit his friends, according to deputies.
Overnight Monday, Patrick Rempe, 24, drove his car into the front doors of the jail, barely missing a deputy who was standing outside, a release said. (Watch the surveillance video here)
Authorities said Rempe then slammed his car into a fence, got out and tried to scale it before becoming entangled in the razor wire.
An Emergency Medical Services crew was called in to remove Rempe from the fence.
Rempe admitted to deputies that he was “high on flakka” and that he just wanted to “visit friends who were in the jail,” the report said.
He was treated for minor injuries.
“This is what drugs do to you. Flakka is poisoning our youth. Fortunately, none of our deputies were injured and our facility wasn’t compromised,” said Indian River County Sheriff Deryl Loar.
Take away: DON’T DO FLAKKA, EVER.
Bros, if you’ll indulge me for a moment I’d just like to make mention that this is a bit of a milestone for me. This is the first ‘Florida Man’ and/or WTFlorida post I’ve blogged since moving back to my ancestral lands of Florida after nearly a decade of living in NYC. I did a shit ton of WTFlorida and Florida Man blogging while living in NYC both here on BroBible and on Guyism, but this is the first time I’ve done it while being a Florida resident.
Florida’s the place I spent the first half of my life before going to college and subsequently moving to NYC, and I’m hopeful that being back on the battlefront will enable me to find even more fucked up Florida Man and WTFlorida news than ever before. This state is an absolute hotbed for the most unfathomably weird news around, and now that I’m living here again I think I have an obligation to you bros to make sure that I keep you abreast of the most WTF news the Sunshine State has to offer (as well as the best fishing videos and news). That said, if you’ve got a tip/lead/video/news story you think would make for a good post here on BroBible don’t hesitate to hit me up on Twitter (that’s me below) and I’ll get it up here!