Move Along, Guys Nothing To See Here–Just A Florida Dude Taking A Steamy Dump On The Side Of The Road

Thank Goodness, it’s been like six days since Florida’s done something Floridian. Probably why I’m having the worst week traffic-wise since I started here. I was starting to fear for my job. Shout out to all eight of you who have clicked on my shit this week #respect.

What really makes this video unique to Florida is not that the dude dropped trou in broad daylight and squirted out a dookie, because I’m the last one who can judge about shitting in public. What makes this WTFlorida-worthy is that the dude filming it, who, if we’re just judging by the numbers was probably on meth, pulled up next to the dump just to investigate the evidence. Like bro, what did you expect to see? He wasn’t doing yoga, he was baking a hot icicle, no need to examine the softness of his stool. Wouldn’t be surprised if the cameraman gave it a taste test just to be sure. “Ugh look at this lunatic shitting in public!” *taste* “Yep definitely shit! What a nut job!” Button it up, Florida. From top to bottom. Button it up.

Just kidding. Be you. Don’t let anyone dim your light. Or tell you where to shit.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.