Florida Man Tries To Steal Chainsaw–By Shoving It Down His Pants

If there are any shoplifting experts out there I’d love to hear your thoughts on this Florida man who tried stealing a chainsaw by shoving it down his pants.

While I’m no seasoned veteran when it comes to shoplifting, I am however a seasoned veteran in the weird ass world of Florida. Something about having 350 days a year of sunshine melts our brains, and the sunscreen seeps into our skin and causes us to do the weirdest of shit.
So when I saw this video of a man sticking A CHAINSAW down his pants I wasn’t the least bit shocked. It’s quintessential Florida: it doesn’t matter if it’s not possible or if it shouldn’t be done, someone’s going to do it.
‘See that manatee over there, I’m gonna ride that swamp donkey!’…’See that chainsaw sitting on that rack, I’m gonna hide that shit in my jorts then go root for Jeff Driskel and the Florida Gators!’


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