Florida Man Searching For Sea Turtles Finds 11 Loggerheads And 1 Big Ol’ Brick Of Colombia’s Finest

by 2 years ago

A volunteer with Ft. Lauderdale’s Sea Turtle Oversight Program had one hell of a night on Tuesday. Walking the beaches in the wee hours of the evening looking for sea turtles underneath the full moon Doug Phinney found an astounding ELEVEN Loggerhead sea turtles. You see when the moon is full this time of year the loggerheads use the extra moonlight to nest on the beach before swimming back out into the open ocean, hoping that the baby sea turtles will later dig themselves out of the sand after hatching. It is up to local volunteers to comb the beaches at night for nesting turtles so they can mark those nests as OFF LIMITS to beach goers. 11 loggerheads (adults weigh between 290-1,000 pounds) in one night would be an amazing sight to behold, but that’s got nothing on what happened next.

According to the Sun-Sentinel, around 1am Doug Phinney walked into a bar on South Florida‘s famous A1A highway with big ass brick of cocaine in his hand, a full kilo to be exact.

via Sun-Sentinel:

Phinney made his discovery on the sands of Fort Lauderdale beach during a routine nighttime patrol as a volunteer with the Sea Turtle Oversight Program, designed to protect the behemoth sea creatures during the summer nesting season. During his four-hour patrol he did spot 11 loggerhead turtles who swam ashore to lay eggs.
“I was doing what I always do,” said Phinney, on summer break from teaching legal studies at the online Florida Virtual School. “It was raining, the surf was crashing, there was a ton of seaweed on the beach, and then I saw this package the size of a brick. As soon as I picked it up I knew what it was.”
Phinney said he used a knife to slice open the package and found a white sticky substance that a Fort Lauderdale police dog seemed to recognize as cocaine.
When police received a call about found narcotics, Officer Giovanni Morales responded, according to records.
Three officers were soon on the scene, and all seemed rather blasé about the find, Phinney said.
But the patrons of a nearby bar just north of Las Olas Boulevard were excited, Phinney said. “They said, ‘You found that right out there? Man, you should have given it to me,'” said Phinney.

Classic bar talk: ‘man, you should’ve given me that enormous brick of cocaine for free even though I’m a complete stranger and potential undercover cop, or someone dumb enough to get arrested and turn you in! I’m not saying I wouldn’t have sat on the brick for a few hours before turning it in, but I ultimately would’ve turned it in as everyone should.

Another excerpt from this article’s pretty good:

Phinney said when he cut the package open and got some of the product on his fingers he was tempted to rub a bit on his gums, as he’s seen done in the movies. But he refrained.

Methinks had he rubbed that on his gums there’s a pretty solid chance it never would’ve made its way to the police…What do you bros think?

(h/t Billy Corbern via Sun-Sentinel)


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