I made a bet.
I made a stupid fucking bet.
I made a bet that if my grandfather were still alive, he’d stop sending me savings bonds. (Jokes on you though, gramps.)
Myself and my co-worker Rebecca Martinson have a series of monthly bets going centered around the traffic we drive to the site. More traffic = winner, lesser traffic = la-hoo-sa-her.
The loser of the first bet had to chug three shots of Papa John’s garlic sauce and instantly get diabetes. I lost.
I went back to the drawing board and adjusted my strategy for the next month’s bet to avoid wearing a dog collar for an entire day nine-hour work day. And I won!
Just fucking with you.
Never have I felt more emasculated.
After coming off two straight victorious months (in which no bets were placed), I started to feel like a human again, and even challenged Rebecca to a bet in which the stakes were higher than ever. For the loser, the consequences will quite literally follow them to their graves.
An exact replica of Kylie Jenner’s new (pink) hip tattoo, pictured HERE.
Well I lost like the fucking loser I am and I have an appointment at 8 PM tonight to etch that lame ass tattoo into my love handle for the rest of my life.
Follow BroBible on Snapchat tonight (Username: BroBible1) to watch me slowly lose the will to live and because we snap cool bro shit you’d like all the time.
P.S. Dad, if you’re reading this, please return my calls. We can get through this.