All The Foods You Shouldn’t Eat If You’re A Wimp Who Doesn’t Want Food Poisoning


 

I don’t care what my esteemed colleague David Covucci says about oysters: They are delicious. Raw. Fried. Broiled. Grilled. Oysters are amazing and a gift to humanity for the taste buds. I can eat a dozen of them raw on the half-shell at a time. Hell, I did multiple times over the holidays. And never once did I get sick. Sure, they were chased with a couple beers, but that just makes the immune system stronger to whatever those mollusks have floating in them, right?

At least that’s how I see it.

This food “expert”, however, has a list of things you shouldn’t consume if you don’t want to get food poisoning. I see where he’s coming from — I’m an insanely adventurous eater, though I’ve had bad bouts of food poisioning twice in my life. Both times were hell and, coincidentally, related to eating bad dairy. Once was in India and resulted in a hospital visit with a 103 degree fever where I had to suck down two bags of fluid from an IV. The other was right here in New York City when I ate some leftover penne a la vodka. The doctor made me drink two Gatorades, waited for my temperature to come down, then sent me on my way.

Watch out for that bad dairy, Bros. That will screw up your body’s plumbing something fierce.

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