We don’t usually post guest submissions, mostly because they tend to be stupid and barely readable. Occasionally though, something comes down the pipeline that’s actually worth throwing up on the site not just because whoever wrote it knows the difference between there/their/they’re, but because it’s actually funny. If we’re feeling ESPECIALLY lucky, it’s even smart.
Enter John, 21, who you can find on Instagram HERE.
John wrote into us saying that right off the bat with Tinder he’s at a disadvantage because his texting game blows. However once he started using the app as a “training ground to hone my antiquated digital conversation skills,” the matches started rolling in.
Probably didn’t hurt that this was his profile photo either:
But how do you pull phone numbers if you can’t text for shit? It took a while, but John came up with a solution for that too:
I used to be like everyone else using the typical “Hey what’s up?” approach. This however produced spotty results at best, probably due to my not so impressive looks. So I asked myself “what can an average guy like me could do to get ahead on an app that relies solely on good looks and luck”?
That’s when I had an epiphany; girls love to be shocked, amused, and confused at the same time. That’s why they love horror movies more than any bro you know.
I jumped right into creating a few pickup lines that have given me near 100% positive results. If the girl does shoot you down after one of these lines, she is obviously on Tinder to make friends, fuck that. These lines are the perfect filter.
Below are some but not even close to all of my success screenshots, all done with extremely bangable women.
And I’ve gotta say…he’s not lying. All of these chicks are solid, as in you wouldn’t pass up the chance either. All hail John and his A+ Tinder strategy:
[Via reader emailer John]