Fox News Contributor Receives Very Specific Death Threats From Nerds After Taking A Giant Dump On ‘Star Wars’

The closest I’ve ever been to death was telling some of my nerd friends that I wasn’t into Star Wars. These otherwise peaceful dudes almost verbally assaulted me and would have tried to cause physical harm, but I would have tied them in a fucking pretzel if they touched me.

Since then, I’ve steered clear of trashing on Star Wars because a.) I’ve learned to pick my battles over the years and b.) I’ve never cared about anything as much as these fanboys care about light sabers, and I can oddly respect that.

National Review writer and Fox News contributor Katherine Timpf learned to not fuck with Star Warriors the hard way during a nationally televised segment discussing the new Star Wars: Force Awakens trailer on their show Red Eye w/ Tom Shillue.

She went in on the poor virgins.

“I have never had any interest in watching space nerds poke each other with their little space nerd sticks, and I’m not going to start now. You people are crazy. You Star Wars people are crazy. Yesterday, I tweeted something, and all I said was that I wasn’t familiar with Star Warsbecause I’ve been too busy liking cool things and being attractive — people threatened my life.”

Timpf has never even seen the films and is dumping all over them, which is unfair, so several fanboys lets her know that in the most aggressive way.

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Katherine still fails to understand the gravity of her comments. Yo Kath, I don’t think they’re fucking around. May want to consider changing your name and buying a one way flight to Zimbabwe.

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Comedian Brian Posehn perfectly describes how seriously Star Wars fans take their Star Wars (1:40 mark).

Best of luck, Katherine.

[h/t Uproxx]


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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.