Everyone has that moment right after a breakup when you become irrationally angry and vow to yourself and everyone around you (in silence, of course because otherwise they’ll know when you’ve failed) to get revenge on the person who you were once able to call your “significant other.” Doesn’t matter if it was an amicable breakup or one that inspired several plates to be thrown and subsequently shattered against a wall, you’re still gonna sit there and be like “Well fuck this I can do 100x better.”
You then head to the nearest gym and impulse sign-up for a membership which you’ll use for a total of 4 days, and after those 4 days when a six-pack doesn’t magically appear on your stomach despite doing “like, a million sit-ups,” you’ll quit.
That’s what most people do. But if you’re a douchebag, you go and try to get your ex fired from their job by framing them as a racist. Nothing says “winning the breakup” like “unemployment!”
Which brings us to Racists Getting Fired, a Tumblr page full of screenshots of people being shitty on social media, which then get sent to their respective employers with the hope that they’ll get fired. How this helps disintegrate racism is beyond me, but I conferred with a 13-year-old social justice warrior over the phone today and she told me “It helps because they got fired.” Well congratulations, now they’re racist AND unemployed. I’m sure the food stamps they’ll be collecting in a few months will make them re-think their stance on racial issues.
But I digress. Tumblr is a site full of people who can’t socialize normally in public without spitting out words like “racism,” “privilege,” and “misogyny,” so they take to the Internet to do it instead. However since many of these people are socially stupid, they don’t realize what havoc their blind “I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING BECAUSE I SAID SO”-ness can wreak. Take for example Brianna Rivera, one of the raving racists that got thrown onto Racists Getting Fired.
Except JUST KIDDING it wasn’t Brianna, it was her douche ex-boyfriend just pretending to be her because he realized that dicking around on the Internet was an easier way to win the breakup than throwing in an honest effort at the gym for 4 days and then getting over himself:
Unfortunately for Brianna the post garnered thousands of reblogs and notes that urged readers to call into the real Brianna’s workplace with phone calls and tweets. How did they know where she works? Because douche ex-boyfriend and Tumblr, that’s why.
And since most people on Tumblr are socially inept, they also provided instructions on what to say to employers when calling in.
AMC Theaters eventually sent out a statement defending Brianna, but the Internet is nothing but mentally dense and firm in its belief of “I don’t care because it’s not what I want to believe and I have all these people who agree with me,” despite “these people” being other idiots who also have their heads stuck in the sand.
But that’s the beauty of the Internet, isn’t it? For every 5 people who tell you the sky is blue you can go out on the Internet and find 2 who say it’s green, then go on living your life being an ignorant twat who believes they’re right just because some other ignorant twats are giving you validation. ‘Tis the circle of life, albeit a warped and deluded one.