Love will make you do crazy things–like sitting through an entire season of Orange is the New Black while trying to muster up fake laughs, going to Paint Night and creating an atrocity that you will agree to hang above your bed, and pretending that you’re full after three fleets of sushi. And oh ya! Almost forgot! Letting your girlfriend hold a machete to your throat while you apologize to the world for liking Instagram photos of other women. DUH.
We’ve all acted in ways contrary to our beliefs when in a relationship for the good of the team, but this dude is so deep in the quick sand, the only way he escapes this plane crash of a relationship is if he buys a wig, moves to Peru and changes his name to Billy. He’s just got to be stealthy about cutting off that ankle monitor this psycho has strapped on him. And this is just from likes and comments! If she digs into the DMs, we could have a dead body on our hands. Thoughts and prayers go out to this dead man walking during this difficult time.
IRL.