Odds are, the majority of us have a dick pic in someone’s possession at this very moment. Whether it be in the hands of trusted lover or the person whose number you found on the bathroom stall at a Jersey Turnpike rest stop, you’ve probably sent more dick pics in the past year than you’ve made calls to your grandmother. I sure have, because my grandma’s been dead for 10 years. Thanks for bringing it up, bro. Dick move. RIP Grandma. Love you always.
There are certain rules every bro should abide by when sending schlong snaps–namely never go full erect, always leave a couple inches to be desired. Also, only send dick pics to people you’d let watch your dog for a weekend. If you’re shooting off prick pics to anyone with a smart phone, you’re setting yourself up to get burned.
A 21-year-old Dublin-native named Laura can speak to this. She works at a department store called Debenhams and was recently introduced to her new boss at work and immediately recognized him from somewhere.
Was it the grocery store? Nah. The gym? Nope. Oh that’s right! She matched with him on Tinder and he wasted no time sending unsolicited dick pictures with the ease the rest of us send “How was your weekend?”
Laura then took to Twitter to relay her epiphany, which was posted on Facebook and has received over 128,000 likes:
“If you think your life is bad, we got a new manager in work today and I matched with him on Tinder last year and he sent me dick pics. RIP.”
She told Mirror,
“I work in retail and almost shit myself.”
“It’s all good, I don’t think he recognizes me. He didn’t say anything.”
Laura, if you’re reading this, a live tweet story of the moment your sleazeball boss realizes he tried to woo you with his yogurt slinger would be greatly appreciated. Please and thank you.