The GOP Candidates Chose Their Secret Service Names And Each One Was Dumber Than The Other

republican candidates secret service names


In case you didn’t watch it or just didn’t hang around until the end of the Republican debate, you missed some real comedy.

After endless mind-numbing back-and-forth, in the last hour of the debate the candidates were asked what Secret Service code name they would choose if elected President. Their answers make me hope that this was a surprise question that they had to come up with an answer on the fly, because, wow.

For example, Barack Obama’s code name is “Renegade.” Very authoritative. Ronald Reagan’s code name was “Rawhide.” Made perfect sense.

Last night’s candidates, however, they might need a little help if and when it comes times to pick a name. Maybe just watch a spy movie or two even.

Here’s what they chose…

Chris Christie: “True Heart”
John Kasich: “Unit One”
Carly Fiorina: “Secretariat”
Scott Walker: “Harley”
Jeb Bush: “Ever-Ready”
Donald Trump: “Humble”
Ben Carson: “One Nation”
Ted Cruz: “Cohiba”
Marco Rubio: “Gator”
Mike Huckabee: “Duck Hunter”
Rand Paul: “Justice Never Sleeps”

Rubio just couldn’t help get another dig in at Florida State, could he? And Duck Hunter, Huckabee? Like the old Nintendo video game? Because that’s all I am picturing in my head. And no, Rand, your code name cannot be three words. Bzzz. Not even going to acknowledge Trump’s selection. Troll on, Donald.