Some people never learn/don’t want to learn. It’s like the whole idea that some people purposely get in their own way in life because they’re afraid of success. Think of all those burnouts you went to highschool with. They could all be geniuses and change the world, but they’re afraid of how smart they are, so they just sit around and smoke weed instead. It makes sense if you don’t think about it.
That’s kind of what I imagine this dude from Alabama is like. The guy could be the greatest security consultant in America. Trump may build that wall, but this guy will lock all the doors. Instead, he’s afraid of his own success and instead just keeps stealing cars and getting thrown in jail.
“The Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office identified the suspect as 41-year-old Carl Leslie Statum. He is now being held without bond in the county jail. Lawmen first encountered Statum about 4 a.m. Tuesday when a deputy on patrol on Mount Olive Road stopped to help a stranded motorist, said Chief Deputy Randy Christian. The driver, later identified as Statum, told the deputy he had run out of gas.
The deputy, however, ran the car tag and learned the vehicle had been reported stolen to Birmingham police. Statum heard the report, and tried to run away. Deputies captured him a short distance away, and placed him under arrest. Statum was charged with first-degree receiving stolen property and resisting arrest. He posted bond and was released later Tuesday morning.
Then, at 3 a.m. today, deputies were dispatched to the 1700 block of Neil Road to investigate several reports of cars being burglarized. Christian said one of the victims told deputies that she heard a noise and looked outside to see a man in the back seat of her car. She yelled at him and he ran away on foot.
A description of the suspect was broadcast to other deputies in the area. A deputy spotted the man walking down Hendrix Drive. He was carrying a backpack that had been stolen from one of the cars and it was filled with other stolen property. Again, Statum was identified as the suspect. He is now charged with four counts of unlawful breaking and entering a vehicle, first-degree theft of property, fourth-degree theft of property and public intoxication. Christian said the stolen property was returned to the owners.”
Twice in one day. It’s like the poor man’s version of that Nicolas Cage movie where he has to steal 50 cars in three days. Really, I’m fully convinced now that Statum is doing this all on purpose. He wants to be put in jail and avoid all the success he could garner for himself. The guy could be fortifying mansions but instead he’s stealing cars and getting caught by the cops to avoid the truth of his genius. That or he’s a crackhead. But no one really does crack anymore.
[h/t Busted Coverage]
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