There are definitely a few things that men should never let people should fuck with:
- His wife (obviously)
- His family
- His Wu-Tang Clan album collection
- His car
- His grill
- His yard and relevant supplies
Obviously, you should never fuck another dude’s wife. Even if she’s asking for it. Nothing good will ever come of that. Either she’ll comment on how her husband’s dick is bigger and then make you feel like a little man or she’ll love how much bigger your dick is and try to leave her husband for you, even if you don’t want her to. That being said, if your top 5 things are untouched by some meddling punk, you should count yourself pretty lucky. Which is exactly what this guy from Texas didn’t do after he shot his neighbor dead for stealing his weed eater.
Via ABC:
“A man is now charged with murder after a man was gunned down in Liberty County after police say there was a dispute over a weed eater. Melvin Adalberto Morales’Rivas, 28, is accused of gunning down Vincente Rodriguez. Police say he turned himself in around 2:30am this morning after a warrant was issued for his arrest. Police say Morales’Rivas and Rodriguez were neighbors and that the motive behind the alleged murder was a dispute about a weed eater that Rodriguez had that belonged to Morales’Rivas.
Police say Erwin Antonio Donis’Morales turned himself in on Sunday evening and said he was with Morales’Rivas when the murder happened. Donis’Morales, police say, brought his own .40-caliber semi-automatic pistol with him and turned it over to the investigators, saying this was the gun used in the shooting. Police say they took his statement and a warrant was then issued for Melvin Morales’Rivas. Police say they learned from Rodriguez’s wife that Rodriguez had claimed he had found the weed eater alongside the highway and brought it home. However, Donis’Morales told police the weed eater — used in a lawn care business — belonged to him and Morales’Rivas and that Morales’Rivas had come to him earlier and told him he knew who had the weed eater and that it was at the home of Vincente Rodriguez. Donis’Morales says Morales’Rivas told him they should go and get it back.
Police say Donis’Morales claims they only planned to go to Rodriguez’s home and talk to him about the weed eater and try to get him to return it. Police say Donis’Morales – a concealed handgun license holder – told them he left his 40 caliber semi-automatic pistol on his car seat when he went up to the door to talk to Rodriguez. At some point during his conversation with Rodriguez wife, the van suddenly burst into flames and when Vincente Rodriguez ran out of his home to extinguish the fire, police say Melvin Morales’Rivas came up to Rodriguez and began shooting him.”
Listen, I get that a man’s has to protect those 6 things that no one is supposed to fuck with. But, if you still have numbers 1-5, you can definitely count yourself lucky. So some guy started fucking with your lawn tools. You definitely have to put a stop to it, but you can take a pretty casual approach. Kill them with kindness. Don’t actually kill them. Especially if you’re immediately going to turn yourself in. What’s the point? Why commit a crime and then immediately cop to it. “Yes officer, I shot this guy dead a few minutes because he stole my weed eater and now I’d like to come forward. Also, here’s the gun I used.” The literally handed him the evidence. This dude has no concept of priorities. What would have happened if his wife got fucked? I’m thinking some Sansa on Ramsay-type shit.