I didn’t even know atomic wedgies were a real thing until now. Like, I thought they were just something movies and television shows did to try and be “authentic” when it comes to depicting high school; I didn’t know that people’s underwear was legit physically capable of stretching all the way over their head. Mine sure as hell don’t. What the fuck are you people using for underwear? Bed sheets? Pirate ship sails? Regular boat sails? The options are endless but my question still remains:
How the fuck did Brad Lee Davis, 33, kill Denver St. Clair (sidenote: what a fuckin’ name on that guy), 58, with an atomic wedgie?
Police arrested Davis on Tuesday.
The affidavit said he ‘grabbed St. Clair’s underwear and gave him an atomic wedgie. Davis allegedly pulled the elastic waistband of St. Clair’s underwear over his head and around his neck…’
Oklahoma Medical Examiner spokeswoman Amy Elliott said the cause of death was asphyxiation and blunt force trauma after the elastic band was stretched too tightly over St. Clair’s neck.(Via)
According to investigators, the elastic waistband was stretched so tight over St. Clair’s head that it left ligature marks on his neck. Keep in mind, this is underwear. Underwear. As in the article of clothing that your mother routinely bleaches your skid marks out of. It killed someone.
Oh, and the two were fighting because St. Clair was insulting Davis and his mother. Nothing says “you deserve a good ol’ death by underwear” like yo momma jokes.
[H/T Daily Mail]