Ever since House ended, I’ve always wondered whatever happened to my favorite fictional, drug-addled genius medical practitioner. Is he still riding around on motorcycles pretending to be a tourist, enjoying his life post-faking his death? Or does he relapse back to drugs and alcohol after being unable to cope with a life sans solving the world’s great medical mysteries. I had always hoped for the former, but the universe seems to be pointing me towards the latter.
Via NBC Florida:
An Estero father is accused of being so drunk, he should be brain dead.
Lee County Sheriff’s deputies arrested Stephen Allbritton Friday morning. They say he was passed out behind the wheel of his SUV with his kids in the backseat. Deputies say he was unresponsive and after they took him to the hospital, doctors found out just how intoxicated he was. Allbritton’s blood alcohol content was measured at .604 — more than seven times the legal limit. Jackie Mason of Estero couldn’t believe it when she heard it. “Horrifying, you’ve got the kids’ lives, you’ve got his life, you could destroy them,” said Mason. “The kids are probably terrified, traumatized because they don’t know, ‘Did dad suddenly drop dead?'” Allbritton’s B.A.C. was so high he was too drunk to take to jail. Deputies waited seven hours until the level dropped to around 0.4, and he was arrested for DUI and child neglect.
Stephen Allbritton? Color me stupid, but that sounds suspiciously like a fake name. Plus, the guy has a few young kids and a new wife, both of which fit into the timeline of House’s life since he faked his death. Regardless of if I’m correct or not (I am), it sounds like House has been having a rough go of these past few years. A .604?! Forget about being brain dead. I’m surprised he’s not just straight up dead. Also, where the hell was he that he had the ability to get .604 drunk but then still had to drive his kids home? Either he was just sitting in a car drinking alone with them, in which case where was their mother? Or he was at a social gathering where other adults saw how drunk he was and still let him drive the kids home, which is probably just as bad. But who are we to question? We’re not highly functional addicts/medical savants like he is. If anything, we should be taking notes. I’m going to go drink myself to a .604 right now. Because if House is doing it, you know it’s safe.