Dudes Of Reddit Reveal The Creepiest Ways Girls Have Hit On Them And Restraining Orders Were Issued

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It’s not often that men are the recipients of the creep. Typically we are the species that send unsolicited dick pics and drunkenly make piss poor attempts at courting the opposite sex in public. It’s as rare as seeing a shooting star in New York City, but there are times that women hit on men, or so I’m told.

Redditor Ganglebot posed the question: Guys of Reddit, what’s the creepiest/weirdest way a woman has hit on you?

Here are the top 5 juiciest responses.


bigkodack

There was this girl who sent me a suicide note and told me “I love you so much that I’d die without you”. We’ve been talking for about 3 days at this point.


hgt145

My buddy’s girlfriend showed up at my front door drunk and ready to bang. She professed her love for me and had built up this secret relationship between the two of us in her head. Like, we had our song and stuff like that. She said that the only reason that she was still with him was so that she could see me. I was pretty creeped out. I was polite, but told her that I wasn’t interested in anyway. I made sure that she got home safe and then called my friend to tell him what happened. When he confronted her, she said that we had slept together that night. He called me on speakerphone in front of her and asked what happened. I told him the same story I told him the night before. He broke up with her right there and threw her out of his house. She emailed me about 6 months later to tell me that she missed me. I did not respond.


MrFuxIt:

Had a sloppy drunk cougar at some shithole dive in West Virginia groped my junk as I walked past, then said loudly mmm, mama likes her salami.

Gotta be honest, I wasn’t even mad.


mostlyemptyspace

A girl reached out to me on FB who lived in my neighborhood, said she was looking for friends, and asked to meet up. Being new to the hood myself I said sure. We met at a bar and she was a little troll of a woman. Not only was she fat and ugly, she just had a nasty personality, and complained about everything.

I tried to be nice about having other plans and needing to go, but she followed me. I awkwardly let her tag along to a friend’s house. When we arrived, within ten minutes my friends soured on her and the host pulled me aside and said, you gotta get her out of here.

I offered to drive her back to her house, and when we arrived she asked me to come in. I politely declined, and she she said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I had no desire to do any such thing, so I said thanks but no thanks.

Then she said she wasn’t getting out of the car unless I came inside and got a blowjob. After more deliberation I said ok and followed her to her door. She had a picket fence with a gate out front, so as soon as she went through the gate I closed it and ran back to my car.

She started yelling and screaming at me and tried to open the doors, which I had quickly locked. I tried to pull out of the space, but she blocked me in. I backed up onto the curb to get around her, and she pushed in my side mirrors and bent my antenna, screaming obscenities as I peeled out.

0/10


tyronebbflat:

I was at an open mic and there was a fat Jamaican woman twice my age who sang a song with the chorus “There is a thin line between liking and loving, and a thick line between LICKING AND FUCKING”. The song lasted 6 minutes and the whole time she was staring me dead in the eye.

Check out the entire thread HERE.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.