The Luckiest Kid In The World Got Meth Instead Of Candy For Halloween Until Her Buzzkill Parents Took It Away
Nothing says “Halloween” to me like “Oh hey look there’s a bag of meth in my candy sack,” just like how I consider the holiday season to be synonymous with finding used heroin needles in my stocking come Christmas morning. Santa’s got a stressful job, alright? If he needs to dump a load of needles off somewhere I’m more than happy to take it for him, because it’s the holidays and I’m a fucking saint. But you know who’s a buzzkill and not a saint? This little girl’s parents, who found a bag of meth in her Halloween candy sack and decided to turn it into the police.
Police in Hercules are trying to determine who gave a plastic bag of methamphetamine to a young girl on Halloween, and are reminding parents to inspect their children’s candy haul for suspicious items.
The 8-year-old girl had been trick-or-treating in the Promenade area of Hercules and came home with a .1 gram plastic bag of crystal methamphetamine, Hercules police said Monday.
The powder was packaged in a small zip-style bag that her parents discovered after the child returned home and they were sorting through her candy.
Now I’m not condoning little children doing drugs, but there are SO many more things you could do with a .1 bag of meth rather than call the police. For example, you could sell it.
…That’s all I came up with. Breaking Bad completely ruined doing meth for most of the world, so the “fun” options left are to either drive through the shitty part of town and sell to someone who looks like they do meth (I can’t imagine it’s that hard), or empty it out into your fish tank just to see what happens. Driving around the hood doesn’t really sound that appealing, so getting your fish high on meth is probably the best option we have here.
Police in Hercules, California are encouraging anyone who finds the not-fun kinds of illegal drugs in their children’s candy to contact them.