Okay, bros huddle up, this super important. I understand that everyone is still grief-stricken since the savage death of our lord and savior Harambe. And I understand you want to show your support for Harambe the almighty. That’s awesome! Everyone should not only want to show their love and admiration of Harambe, but should feel obligated to make the memory of our fallen gorilla live on for future generations. I get you wanna scream from a mountaintop, “DICKS OUT FOR HARAMBE!” That’s incredibly considerate of you. However, #DicksOutForHarambe can go too far. Take the overenthusiastic Timothy Cook for example. He showed exactly when #DicksOutForHarambe goes wrong.
The 23-year-old Timothy Cook was arrested on Friday morning after he was found “growling and punching the cement” and “masturbating on the sidewalk” in Warren City, Ohio. One officer said Tim Cook (No, not the Apple CEO) had exited a DMV building and was “acting like a gorilla” by “squatting on all fours, punching the blacktop and jumping up and down screaming noncoherently.”
Cook was sweating profusely and was detained without incident. He was placed in an ambulance “due to his erratic behavior.”
The Smoking Gun states that paramedics treated Cook for an apparent overdose, though police records do not indicate what drug (or drugs) he may have used.
Cook and his friend Osmond LeMasters were charged with disorderly conduct while intoxicated.
TSG also reports on Cook’s rap sheet that includes multiple arrests for drug possession and theft, along with collars for burglary, criminal trespass, breaking and entering, domestic violence, possession of drug paraphernalia, and carrying a concealed weapon. Court records show that Cook has a pending felony narcotics possession case.
Dude, we get it, you’re all for the “DicksOutForHarambe movement. That’s awesome, but you can’t go waving your dick around in public even if you have the purest intentions to honor Harambe. You’re not supposed to literally have your dick out for Harambe. I for one appreciate the gusto and vigor that Cook displayed, but that’s not how you keep the memory of Harambe alive. You’re better than that Tim Cook, and Harambe deserves a little more respect.