Old Dope Doctor Pulls A Chef Move From ‘South Park’, Delivers Herbal Chocolate Balls Laced With Weed To Teachers

Okay, so the marijuana-laced chocolate balls that a former physician and longtime cannabis advocate Monroe Gordon Piland III gave to teachers on Valentine’s Day 2013 weren’t salty like Chef’s from South Park, but they do encourage sucking. That’s because they’re aphrodisiacs. Mmmmmm, put ’em in your mouth and suck ’em.

Can you guess what Piland’s age is? Yup. 69, dudes.

The news of his sweet and sticky-icky gift came to light in a child custody case filed by Piland against the boy’s mother. The case is the result of Piland giving pot to his then 10-year-old son. One of Piland’s emails to his baby mama had the subject line “Valentine Chocolate Herb Caper”.

One of the teachers couldn’t handle the kush and got sick, which prompted the school’s director to ban Piland from campus. Piland then denied putting pot in the treats, but said some of the delicacies “might have dropped into a pouch of sacred smoking herbs.” Not just any smoking herbs. Sacred ones! OH MY GOD!

Piland went on to state that “The amount would have been extremely small and in reality would have been less disruptive to normal physiology than the sodas that the school sells in the machines.” Take THAT, Dr. Pepper! You’re not even a real doctor! What do you know about health!?!

Piland explained he’d given his child marijuana “maybe five times” in an effort relieve the child’s stress and hyperactivity, which he attributed to violent video games. How did he give the kid the kind bud? As raw leaf juice and in goat’s milk. Diiiiiiiiiisgusting.

According to Piland’s testimony, his son also asked his father to blow marijuana smoke in his face, which sounds bad-ass at first, but is ultimately creepy and awkward. Piland’s medical license was revoked, he’s in jail in lieu of $100,000 bond and has more than $16,000 in tax debt. Can we legalize weed everywhere, so this dope doctor can sell his chocolate weed balls nationwide? I’m placing my pre-order now.

Via Citizen Times

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