Did A Panda Bear Once Perform Oral Sex On Hillary Clinton And If So, Should It Preclude Her From Being President?

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BuzzFeed News has got a doozy of a scoop today, unearthing a video a conservative PAC made implying that Hilary Clinton once had a panda perform oral sex on her.

The video was produced by FreedomWorks before its “FreePAC” event in Dallas in July 2012, a conference attended by several leading conservative politicians as well as thousands of activists. Mother Jones reported the existence of the video in 2013. BuzzFeed News has obtained three sections of videos that were to be shown at FreePAC.

[The] part of the video that caused the most internal consternation at the time was the scene featuring the intern dressed up as a panda appearing to be caught in the midst of giving oral sex to the intern dressed up as Hillary Clinton.

They never aired the video, but … so what? I’m not sure what they are implying — that Hilary Clinton demands that China please her before they gets theirs is actually something I want in president — but also, who cares if a panda went down on her?

Let’s say this was real. Let’s say, at an event this weekend, Hilary Clinton said, “I need to come clean about something. I once let a panda lick my pussy. When I was first lady, I demanded the employees of the National Zoo let me into the panda enclosure after hours, rubbed bamboo leaves all over my hoobie and let Ling Ling lap it up.”

Would you no longer vote for her? Would it mean she was unfit to be president? I’m not so sure. I would, and let’s have a serious discussion in the comments, like to hear your thoughts. Is letting a panda munch your box that bad? On the spectrum of bestiality (if there’s a spectrum), I’d put it at rather benign. Where does it rank for you?

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