The job market is crap, the economy is crap and today particularly the weather is crap. In a world full of doo doo sauce and unemployed millennials, what’s a girl to do to make money that doesn’t involve an actual job and/or putting forth any effort whatsoever?
Enter this chick:
Can’t find her name on her page and I’ve got no idea where she’s from, but goddamn do I envy her for coming up with a brilliant idea that requires virtually no work whatsoever. Only setback is that she’s only raking in $5 at a time (unless you opt in for some of her “extras”), but an extra $10 a day means I can eat Chipotle every day for lunch if I wanted. Unfortunately my colon would up and castrate me if I tried to do that, so I guess that money would have to go somewhere more worthwhile, like buying weed or testing out my new paper shredder.
Why didn’t I come up with this again? Oh yeah, because somehow I’m even too lazy to come up with an idea that would let me be even lazier. Boo.
Do you need some extra attention on FB? Or, do you want to make your friends or ex jealous? You’ve found the right gig! 🙂
For $5, I will add you as a friend (permanently) and be in a relationship with you (*if you’d like*) for 4 days. Each day, I will write on your wall 1 OR 2 times (unless you want less). I will also like your photos and comment on some of them randomly.
BONUS!!!! I will get one of my girlfriends to leave a comment on the relationship status and say something very believable (if you want).
I am very good at coming up with comments on the spot, and I make it extremely believable. It will not be simple phrases like “I miss you”, etc.- these will be well thought-out messages.
If you have something in mind also, let me know!
P.S. My photos will be visible to your friends. Also, I have a real, active account with almost 950 active friends.
↓↓↓↓Please see my gig extras below! ↓↓↓↓
What extras is she talking about? Well for another paltry $5 she’ll pretend to be your girlfriend for 2 weeks as opposed to 5 days, for one:
You’re probably thinking to yourself right about now “What a stupid idea. Who would want a fake girlfriend for 5 days? I hope she trips and falls into a forest fire.”
Well JOKE’S ON YOU LOSERS, because it looks like she’s raking in the dough…or at least the reviews:
Can’t figure out what to get your loser brother for Christmas? Have an uncle who posts wayyyy too much on social media as a cry for attention? NEVER FEAR, for Fiver Girl is here to make your pathetic existence feel better…for $5.
[Via Fiver]