Scientists Have Finally Quantified Exactly How Fun It Is To Get Drunk

by 2 years ago
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10.79!

Getting drunk adds 10.79 fun points to your life every time you do it.

That’s a good amount, right?

The (oddly) precise number comes from a study out of England which tried to gauge just how happy people are when they are sucking down some booze.

(I’m equating happiness with fun here, but whatever. If fun doesn’t make you happy, I don’t know what you are. A tree, probably.)

Researchers from the University of Kent and the London School of Economics used data from the Mappiness app, which asks users several times a day, on a scale of 0-100, how happy they are. It additionally requests information on what you are doing at the time: eating, pooping, getting dumped, to try find what does and doesn’t make them happy.

After looking at over two million responses, researchers found the precise number of points that booze adds to your life. Almost 11. So if you are at a 50 happiness, a whiskey will put you to 60. And if you’re at an 89, a cocktail will make your life perfect.

“Drinking alcohol is associated with considerably greater happiness at that moment — 10.79 points on a 0-100 scale,” said the researchers.

BUTTTT. There’s always a but. You are often drinking — funerals excepted — because you are doing fun and happy things. Getting off work, lounging on a Saturday, grilling, chilling with a lady about to bone.

When you factor all that in, alcohol only accounts for a four point rise in happiness.

Hardly seems worth it, don’t it?

Well, in one instance, it certainly is. The scientists found that drinking vastly improved happiness when doing shitty things. Like funerals.

“Drinking had the greatest impact when it came alongside otherwise unenjoyable activities (traveling/commuting, waiting), and only increased the happiness of already enjoyable activities by smaller amounts (socializing, making love).”

So tell your mom to suck it the next time you reach for a beer immediately after getting to a family gathering.

[Via The Washington Post]

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