Stupid Idiot Dumbo Supreme Allegedly Robs A Royal Farms At Gunpoint Then Tries To Flee Using Uber, Obviously Fails


The Baltimore Sun

I’ve always wondered if you could use Uber as a getaway car. Not seriously, mind you – more in the “hey if I were a complete moron without the faintest idea of how to successfully rob a RoFo at gunpoint, what would I use as a getaway car? I know, UBER!!!” sense. Like you wouldn’t order an Uber right before committing a crime and use it as a mean to flee the scene, right?


Not for Dashawn Terrell Cochran, allegedly.

Dashawn Terrell Cochran, 23, faces charges including armed robbery, police said Friday.

Cochran allegedly robbed a Royal Farms store in the 8200 block of Harford Road with a gun around 2:30 a.m. Wednesday, fleeing with money from the cash registers.

Officers got a description of the suspect and used a K-9 unit to track his path, police said.

Cochran was later seen getting into the back of silver Lexus. Police stopped the vehicle and detained three people inside.

The driver told police he was an Uber driver and had just picked up two passengers. Police say they released the driver and second passenger after determining they had nothing to do with the robbery.(via)

According to police it only took police 30 minutes to find and arrest Cochran after the robbery was called in, which comes as no surprise since at least 50% of my Uber drivers go 10 miles under the speed limit as a way to spite me.

Cochran is currently being held at the Baltimore County Detention Center on $250,000 bail.

[H/T Baltimore Sun]