That’s your internal monologue, three minutes from now as you read through this story about St. Petersburg resident David Smith. You see, David has an ex-wife who he wanted to make jealous. Rather than going out and bagging some young hottie or mortgaging his house for a Tesla like any other sane, rational man his age, he decided to go outside and hump a stop sign.
It sounds like I am kidding.
I am not kidding.
Not only was he unable to sway his old flame, the randy 58-year-old is now facing stalking charges in what Florida police call its most ‘bizarre case’.
Between April 10 to 13, Smith had made a number of visits to the woman’s address, according to ABC Action News station.
On one occasion, an eye-witness spotted him humping a stop sign outside her home while pointing and laughing.(via)
The incident was reportedly captured on camera, so if you’re the lucky guy or gal who was #blessed enough to watch David hump a stop sign, please feel free to send it my way. We won’t pay for it because this is to stupidity and beyond, but I’ve always wondered what it looks like when a relatively normal, sane human being completely loses their shit.
David has reportedly yet to appear in court.