Ireland Is Appalled By Speaker Of The House Paul Ryan’s Pitiful Pint Of Guinness

Today is St. Patrick’s Day, and many will indulge in a pint of Guinness. The dark rich stout from Ireland is known worldwide for its thick creamy head (Phrasing?). Paul Ryan learned a valuable lesson that Guinness should ALWAYS be served with a large head (Uh, phrasing?).

Whoever poured Paul Ryan’s Guinness at Thursday’s annual Friends of Ireland luncheon at the U.S. Capitol failed at life because his beer was woefully pitiful and Irish people were appalled.

The Speaker of the House toasted the Irish people, who were represented by Prime Minister Enda Kenny with a Guinness, but the beer was so sad. It was so incredibly pathetic that Ireland took notice. Irish journalist Naomi O’Leary shared a photo of the deplorable stout.

Guinness beer has a frothy head due to the bubbles caused by nitrogen rising and carbon dioxide descending because it’s heavier. The beloved Irish beer, which has hints of coffee and chocolate, should always be poured with love and expertise. The head should make a glorious dome to the proper glass, which as everyone knows is a tulip-shaped pint glass. Not whatever the fuck Paul Ryan was served.

So embarrassing. A day before St. Patrick’s Day nonetheless.

Wars have been started over less.

For whoever is pouring Paul Ryan’s beer, here is the six-step process to pouring and sipping the perfect pint of Guinness. Take notes.

But Paul Ryan was not the only one who desecrated this Irish treasure. The Railway Cafe, a bar and restaurant in Vancouver, Canada, posted a pic of a contemptible Guinness to their Facebook to promote their St. Patrick’s Day festivities.

I must warn you, some readers may find the following photo disturbing. Reader discretion is advised.

For fuck’s sake man!

The sacrilegious photo was taken down and the Railtown Cafe attempted to make good.

I’m sorry, the damage has already been done and they should be outlawed from selling Guinness.