Japanese Game Show Puts Petrified Woman In Glass Box While A Giant Grizzly Bear Rolls Her Around Like Dice

WELP. Looks like Japan’s shitfaced again. While the American public is enamored with the Kardashian’s knee caps, Japan is throwing its citizens in glass boxes and letting a grizzly bear have its way with them. Speaking for myself here but I’d much rather see an innocent woman begging for her life in the face of an 800-pound man eater than Khloe Kardashian bitch about which throw pillows look better in her Hamptons house. Just preference. If I know Japan like I think I know Japan, if you pay an additional 10 yen, they show you what happens when they unlock the cage. Shit gets real.

But I’ve been saying this for years: America should make a show like this for its home-grown terrorists. The marathon bomber, the Aurora shooter, that dickbag Chatanooga madman may have thought twice if the prospect of being mauled by a grizzly and broadcasted to the entire country was imminent. At the very least, we should use these worthless scumbags as subjects for medical experiments. So many different avenues here, but I’d be completely cool with watching a bear roll them around before tearing them to pieces. SpikeTV will surely air that shit.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.