Kellogg’s, more like Kel-Covered In Piss.
^I’m still ironing that joke out.
Regardless, a video that was allegedly shot in 2014 has emerged online depicting a Kellogg’s employee taking a whiz on the conveyor belt at the Kellogg’s factory. According to LADbible, the affected products were Rice Krispies Treats, Rice Krispies Treats cereal and puffed rice cake products.
The piss products were then boxed and sold to consumers just like you and I, which one of us ate–probably you, bro. You sick fuck. On the bright side, it looks like the dude was pretty hydrated so most of it was likely water. That passed through his cock.
And if you’re thinking this whole video is a ruse, Kellogg’s released a statement confirming its validity.
Kellogg takes this situation very seriously and we were shocked and deeply disappointed by this video that we learned of. We immediately alerted law enforcement authorities and regulators. A criminal investigation is underway as well as a thorough internal investigation.
Our investigation revealed that the video was recorded at our Memphis, TN facility, in 2014. Products that could have been potentially affected were Rice Krispies Treats, Rice Krispies Treats cereal and puffed rice cake products, all of which would be past expiration date.
Food quality is of the utmost importance to Kellogg Company. We are outraged by this completely unacceptable situation, and we will work closely with authorities to prosecute to the full extent of the law.
Sincere words, Kellogg’s. But that doesn’t get the piss out of our mouths now does it?